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Know the ten rules of anxiety
(Then let's break them)
Ever wonder why anxiety feels so persistent, so convincing, and so difficult to shake? It's because anxiety operates according to its own secret rulebook—one that keeps you trapped in cycles of worry, overthinking, and fear.
As a therapist working with anxiety for over a decade, I've discovered that anxiety has its own internal logic. These "rules" act like invisible prison bars, limiting your life while convincing you they're keeping you safe.The good news? Once you recognize these rules for what they are—anxiety's way of maintaining control, you can finally start breaking them.
I'll walk you through the ten fundamental rules that anxiety enforces, how they manifest in your daily life, and most importantly, how to become the rule-breaker your mental wellbeing needs.
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The Rules Of Anxiety
The Demand for Control and Certainty
Anxiety's insistence that you must control everything—now and in the future—to be safe. It convinces you that uncertainty is dangerous, driving you to overthink, over-prepare, and exhaust yourself seeking perfect certainty.
The Self-Attack Statute
The rule that automatically assigns blame to you whenever something goes wrong. It turns your natural empathy against you, making you feel responsible for problems you didn't create and couldn't prevent.
The Worry Is The Solution Paradox
The false belief that worrying somehow protects you from bad outcomes. It tricks you into stewing in thoughts rather than taking action, creating the illusion of problem-solving when you're actually just rehearsing fears.
The Small Is Safe Directive
Anxiety's quiet negotiation that gradually shrinks your world. It promises safety through avoidance, but actually creates an ever-diminishing comfort zone where your remaining territory becomes increasingly precious and terrifying.
The Comparison Contract
The unspoken agreement that everyone else is doing better than you. It tricks you into measuring your behind-the-scenes against others' highlight reels, leaving you constantly feeling inadequate and behind.
The Doom Loop Clause
Transforms every anxious thought into breaking news. One small concern quickly escalates into catastrophic scenarios playing on repeat in your mind, convincing you the worst-case scenario is inevitable.
The Constant Threat Imperative
The rule that reframes ordinary situations as dangerous battlegrounds. It misinterprets bodily sensations as warning signals and transforms everyday activities into threats, keeping you constantly on high alert.
The Principle of Priority
The assumption that every anxious thought deserves immediate attention. Your mind treats each worry like an urgent text message, exhausting you by responding to promotional thoughts as if they were priorities.
The Law of Inadequacy
Anxiety's persistent message that you lack the internal resources to handle challenges. It creates "The First Day of School Illusion," making you forget your perfect track record of surviving difficult situations.
The Boomerang Effect
The counterintuitive truth that fighting anxiety makes it stronger. The more you resist or try to eliminate anxiety, the more forcefully it returns—like a boomerang that gains momentum from your attempts to throw it away.
Where does your anxiety come from?
A quiz can't give you an official diagnosis but we are able to look at some of your answers to get a sense of what type of anxiety you might have and where it stems from. Your results will help you determine what generates your anxiety, and a licensed mental health professional will give you the official diagnosis.
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WANT TO KNOW MORE ABOUT HOW TO COMBAT ANXIETY?
After you take the quiz, be sure to sign up and opt into the email list and we'll keep you up-to-date on what we're doing to help people combat anxiety, and break-free from the rules.
Or if you're in California and want to work with me or one of my team, please schedule a consultation call using the link below.