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Intimacy Quiz for Couples From a West Hollywood Therapist
I'm a Couples Therapist here in West Hollywood | Los Angeles and designed this short quiz based on the leading causes of emotional distance in relationships, as as well as a decade of experience providing couple's counseling to people wanting to feel more connected, improve physical affection and feel more connected.
The quiz will help you gain an understanding of the four central relationship dynamics that shape and define how close and connected you feel with your partner:
What This Intimacy Quiz Reveals About Your Relationship
This quiz helps you see the emotional patterns that shape how close or distant you and your partner feel. It highlights how you communicate, repair after conflict, express affection, and share power in your relationship—offering language and insight to better understand your connection.
Understanding Your Emotional Connection
Emotional connection grows when two people can be curious about each other’s inner worlds. This quiz helps you notice how comfortable you both are with sharing feelings, listening without defensiveness, and staying emotionally engaged even when tension arises.
Why Emotional Intimacy Matters More Than You Think
When emotional intimacy is present, partners feel seen, safe, and understood. Without it, even small moments of disconnection can start to feel bigger than they are. Nurturing emotional intimacy builds resilience—it’s what allows love to deepen over time instead of drifting apart.
How Couples Can Strengthen Their Bond Through Awareness
Awareness creates the space for new choices. When you can see your communication habits, conflict patterns, and emotional cycles more clearly, you’re better able to pause, respond with empathy, and repair connection. Change starts with understanding— and that's much more easy to achieve than 'perfection.
There are two intimacy quizzes: - feel free to take either, although one has questions specific to LGBTQ+ couples and some of the issues I see working with same-sex or queer couples in West Hollywood.
The Intimacy Quiz For LGBTQ+ Couples
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Some things are universal across relationships, wh's cooking dinner tonight, what are our future plans, and what to do about snoring. But for LGBTQ+ couples, there’s a distinctive layer of challenges and breakthroughs that shape their shared journey. Certain questions in this version of the quiz specifically explore minority stressors faced by the LGBTQ+ community. These stressors are an additional consideration that LGBTQ+ Affirmative Therapists want to explore in order to help a couple reconnect. This version of the quiz is otherwise identical to the other.
The Care & Intimacy Quiz For Couples
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This assessment evaluates the four critical pillars of connection: Communication, Affection, Resolution, and Equilibrium. By analyzing your unique patterns of emotional expression, conflict management, power balance, and intimacy, we provide personalized insights that illuminate both your relationship strengths and growth opportunities. Complete the quiz to receive your relationship archetype and a tarot-inspired reading that offers a fresh perspective on deepening your connection and rekindling intimacy.
Understand Your Relationship Dynamics: The Four Pillars Of Relationships.
Communication
Understanding communication is essential because it's the foundation upon which all relationships are built. When partners struggle to express their needs or actively listen to each other, emotional needs don't get met, sexual intimacy can't deepend and small misunderstandings can grow into relationship-threatening problems.
Many couples aren't even aware they're talking past each other, using communication styles that inadvertently create distance rather than connection. Recognizing your communication patterns can transform frustrating conversations into opportunities for deeper understanding and intimacy.
Affection is Emotional Closeness
Affection is more than just physical touch—it's about how partners express and receive love in ways that make each other feel valued and desired. A fear of intimacy or emotional withdrawal is often the anxiety that comes up when thinking about sharing personal feelings, but it's also a vita factor in relationship satisfaction.
What makes affection complex is that partners often have different needs and expressions of affection, leading to situations where one person feels neglected while the other feels they're making significant efforts. Understanding your affection is a key to understanding relationship dynamics. It helps identify mismatches in how you show love, your sex life, and allows you to meet each other's needs more effectively, whether through words of affirmation, quality time, or physical closeness.
Conflict Resolution
Conflict resolution reveals how couples navigate disagreements—a process that often determines relationship longevity more than compatibility itself. Many people don't realize they've developed unhealthy conflict patterns - either through emotional withdrawal or patterns that escalate tensions and leave important issues unresolved.
Some avoid conflict entirely, while others engage in ways that create more hurt than healing. Recognizing how you each hangle conflict is a start to transforming disagreements into opportunities for growth and understanding, allowing you to address problems without damaging your connection.
Equilibrium, Balance and Power.
Equilibrium in relationships is about the balance of power, decision-making, and mutual respect. Many couples experience imbalances they're not consciously aware of—where one person's needs consistently take priority, or where decisions are subtly controlled by one partner.
These power dynamics can create resentment, diminished self-esteem, and emotional distance even in otherwise loving relationships. Understanding your relationship's equilibrium isn't about achieving perfect equality in all things, but rather ensuring both partners feel valued, respected, and heard.
Take the Intimacy Quiz for Couples
In just a few minutes, you’ll gain a clearer picture of your relationship’s emotional landscape. This quiz highlights how you communicate, manage conflict, express affection, and maintain balance—offering a language for the connection you both want to strengthen.
A 5-Minute Quiz That Deepens Emotional Connection
This assessment evaluates the four critical pillars of connection: Communication, Affection, Resolution, and Equilibrium. By analyzing your unique patterns of emotional expression, conflict management, power balance, and intimacy, we provide personalized insights that illuminate both your relationship strengths and growth opportunities. Complete the quiz to receive your relationship archetype and a tarot-inspired reading that offers a fresh perspective on deepening your connection and rekindling intimacy.
Discover Your Intimacy Style (and Your Partner’s Too)
Every couple has a unique intimacy style shaped by how they give and receive affection, handle stress, and repair after disconnection. Your results reveal which of the five types of intimacy—emotional, physical, intellectual, experiential, or spiritual—come most naturally to you and your romantic partner, and where there’s room to grow together.
Discover Your Intimacy Style (and Your Partner’s Too)
Every couple has a unique intimacy style shaped by how they give and receive affection, handle stress, and repair after disconnection. Your results reveal which of the five types of intimacy—emotional, physical, intellectual, experiential, or spiritual—come most naturally to you and your romantic partner, and where there’s room to grow together.
Couples Therapy for intimacy
Oliver Drakeford, LMFT, CGP
I'm a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist as well as a Certified Group Psychotherapist in the West Hollywood Los Angeles area. I've been providing therapy to couples and families for close to a decade.
Although I'm mainly focused on my private practice these days, I've been a Clinical Director of a residential treatment center and a Clinical Supervisor to new therapists.
In addition to private practice, I occasionally moonlight as an Adjunct Professor of Group Process at Antioch University in LA, and I offer consultations and trainings in group and family therapy.
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emotional intimacy quiz
THE C.A.R.E & Intimacy Quiz For Couples
What Happens After the Free Intimacy Quiz?
Once you complete the quiz, you’ll receive your personalized results along with a deeper look at the patterns shaping your relationship. You’ll also get access to tools, insights, and gentle next steps to help you and your partner strengthen emotional intimacy and communication.
Personalized Tips for Building Connection
Your quiz results come with therapist-designed suggestions based on your unique relationship profile. These include simple reflection prompts, conversation starters, and ways to practice empathy and repair—helping you apply what you’ve learned to real-life moments with your partner.
Join My Free Weekly Relationship Insights
You’ll automatically receive my weekly email where I share short videos, therapy-inspired tips, and printable handouts that help couples stay connected and emotionally aware. Think of it as a weekly relationship check-in—delivered right to your inbox.
How to Keep the Spark Alive Long-Term
Emotional closeness isn’t something you find once—it’s something you keep nurturing. I’ll send you strategies for maintaining connection through life’s changes, staying curious about each other, and reigniting affection when routines take over. These small steps create long-term intimacy that lasts.
5 Types of Intimacy In A Marriage or Relationship
Intimacy isn't just one thing—there's actually five distinct threads that can make up an intimate connection.
Emotional Intimacy
Think of emotional intimacy as the heart-to-heart connection. It's that feeling when you can share your deepest fears, wildest dreams, and everything in between without fear of judgment.
It's like having a special room in your relationship home where you both feel safe enough to be vulnerable. When your partner says, "I've had a rough day," and you put down your phone to really listen—that's emotional intimacy in action.
Physical Intimacy
Physical intimacy includes but extends far beyond sexual connection. It's the language our bodies speak when words fall short—from holding hands while walking through the grocery store to that comforting hug at the end of a difficult day.
Many couples I've worked with over the years initially think physical intimacy is only about sex, then realize how much they've been missing the simple power of touch.
Intellectual Intimacy
Have you ever had a conversation that made your mind dance? That's intellectual intimacy—the sharing of ideas, thoughts, and beliefs that stimulates your mind and creates connection.
It might look like discussing a book you both loved, respectfully debating current events, or problem-solving together. Intellectual intimacy thrives when we remain curious about our partner's perspective, even when it differs from our own.
Experiential Intimacy
Experiential intimacy is built when we create memories together. It's the shared jokes that only the two of you understand, the challenges you've overcome as a team, and the adventures—both big and small—that become part of your unique story.
This could be traveling to a new country together, taking a cooking class, or simply establishing meaningful rituals like Sunday morning coffee on the porch. These shared experiences create a special world that belongs just to you both.
Spiritual Intimacy
Spiritual intimacy involves connecting around your deepest values, beliefs, and sense of purpose. It doesn't necessarily mean sharing the same religion (though it can), but rather finding common ground in what brings meaning to your lives.
This might look like discussing your core values, meditating together, participating in religious practices, or simply sharing moments of awe at the beauty of nature. Spiritual intimacy gives relationships a sense of shared meaning that helps weather life's inevitable storms.
More Intimacy Ideas
fun conversation starters for couples
Find out some of the best questions you can ask on your next date night here:
The Top Communication Skills for Couples
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Your First Couples Therapy Session in Los Angeles
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