Expert Parent Coaching, Los Angeles
What Is parent coaching?
Parent coaching involves parents or primary caregivers collaborating with a skilled parent coach or, in this case, a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist to understand and help support parents with their goals for the family. Most often, parents come and see me with a specific problem they want help with; other times, it's a general goal of wanting to improve parenting or co-parenting.
WHO AM I?
I'm a licensed marriage and family therapist and have been helping parents for nearly a decade in high schools and then residential treatment centers. As a clinical director of a teen treatment center, I helped hundreds of parents understand the current family dynamics and provided psycho-education, parenting skills, tips, and proven techniques to address challenges within the family.
WHAT TYPE OF THINGS DO I HELP WITH?
Parent coaching serves as a valuable resource for parents seeking to enhance family dynamics, strengthen bonds, address behavioral challenges, and promote effective communication. I help parents (and families) along their parenting journeys with a wide variety of issues are here:
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Communication issues
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Teenager Behavior
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Substance abuse
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Power struggles
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Vaping
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Depression
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Anxiety
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Relationship conflict
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Parenting Skills
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Adoptive Parents
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Blended family challenges
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Grief and loss
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School refusal
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Oppositional Behaviors
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Delinquency
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Sibling Rivalry
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Risky Behaviors
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Adopted Kids
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School Avoidance / School Phobia
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Computer Addiction
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Gaming Addiction
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Self Harm
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Suicidal Ideation
YOUR PARENTING STYLE
It has consistently been shown that parenting style can relate to various outcomes such as child psychological problems such as aggression and academic performance. Parenting has also been found to influence more nuanced qualities, such as academic achievement and the quality of relationships.
UNDERSTANDING FAMILY ISSUES AND PARENT COACHING
In every family, the way we communicate, resolve conflicts, respond to emotions, and repeat certain behaviors plays a pivotal role in shaping our home life. Recognizing and understanding these aspects can significantly enhance the quality of family interactions and the overall well-being of each member. Parent Coaching is designed to guide you through these critical areas, helping you build stronger and more healthy relationships.
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COMMUNICATION
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CONFLICT
At the heart of a thriving relationship is effective communication .How do your family members interact with each other? Are your conversations characterized by openness and support, or do they tend towards being closed and critical? As your parenting coach, we will help you understand and transform your family's communication styles. Our goal is to guide you in creating interactions that are not just about talking, but truly connecting - fostering an environment where each member feels heard, understood, and valued.
Conflict is a natural part of any family dynamic, but the way it's handled is important. How does your family deal with disagreements? Are they resolved with calm, constructive conversations, or do they escalate to unproductive arguments? Our coaching approach focuses on nurturing healthy conflict-resolution habits. We'll equip you with healthy boundaries, tools and techniques to navigate disagreements effectively, ensuring that even in times of conflict, your family can maintain a sense of harmony and understanding.
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EMOTIONS
Every family has its unique emotional landscape. Are certain scenarios in your family consistently triggering anger, anxiety, or avoidance? Recognizing these emotional patterns is crucial in fostering a supportive family atmosphere. Our coaching program is designed to help you identify and understand these emotional triggers. Emotional communication for children in particular, is one of the most important social skills to teach. Together, we will work towards strategies that not only address these emotional responses but also enhance the overall emotional intelligence of your family, paving the way for a more empathetic and connected home life.
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UNHEALTHY CYCLES
Sometimes, families find themselves stuck in cycles of behavior that can be counterproductive. Do you notice patterns of avoidance during stress or overreactions to minor issues within your family? Or perhaps are uncertain about age-appropriate child behaviors and how they need to be handled differently as kids get older? Identifying and breaking these cycles is key to fostering a healthier, more stable family environment. Our coaching will guide you in recognizing these patterns and implementing positive changes, creating a family dynamic that is resilient and adaptive to life's various challenges.
PARENT COACHING AND FAMILY SYSTEMS
My approach to coaching parents and co-parenting parents is rooted in family systems theory, which has decades of research, studies and books on the subject; it's an evidence-based theory of relationships focused specifically on families and parenting.
As the Clinical Director of an adolescent treatment center for many years, I created an entire program that used this theory in the way we helped teens and their caregivers.
Having treated hundreds, if not thousands of families, I can honestly say that this is the most impactful and helpful way to address any problems or concerns you have as parents.
WHAT IS THE DEAL WITH FAMILY SYSTEMS AND PARENT COACHING?
At its essence, this theory posits that families operate as a complex, interconnected system where each member's actions and emotions are interdependent and significantly influence one another. The temptation and trend might be for parents to send their child to therapy to work on whatever problem they are having, but Family Systems shows us that the problem doesn't exist in a bubble around that child. In order to really help a teen or tween that's struggling the entire family needs support and help. Most often the changes that parents implement create a ripple effect that changes the teen, their problem or their behaviors.
In a family system, actions and behaviors form an ongoing feedback loop, influencing and being influenced by each other. Consider a child displaying behavioral problems, such as having frequent tantrums. In a linear approach, we might see these tantrums as the primary issue that requires direct correction, and send the child to therapy to get skills and tools to regulate themselves. However, when viewed through the lens of circular causality, these tantrums can be seen as both influenced by and influencing the family environment. The child's behavior may prompt a specific disciplinary response from a parent, which could either worsen or improve the child's behavior. This, in turn, shapes the child's future actions and the parent's subsequent responses, forming an ongoing cycle of interaction that shapes the overall family dynamic.
Another example: a child's anxiety may not solely stem from personal challenges but may also reflect the emotional climate at home. Perhaps the parents frequently experience stress and communicate anxiously, which the child absorbs and mirrors in their behavior. Conversely, a parent's excessively protective response to a child's initial signs of anxiety might inadvertently reinforce the child's anxious behavior, leading to a cycle where the child's anxiety and the parent's protectiveness feed into each other
PARENTING STYLES AND CHILD OUTCOMES
Parenting styles refer to the way in which parents behave and interact with their children. Parenting styles and techniques have been studied for decades and there's now a vast body of literature that looks at the impact of parenting. It has consistently been shown that parenting style can relate to various outcomes such as child psychological problems such as aggression and academic performance. Parenting has also been found to influence more nuanced qualities, such as academic achievement and the quality of relationships.
HELICOPTER PARENTS
Over-Involved Parenting
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SNOWPLOW PARENTS
Over-Protective Parenting
A snowplow removes snow and ice from the road and similarly, the snowplow parent removes obstacles that get in the way of their child’s success. There's nothing wrong with this in theory, except taken to an extreme level, it deprives children of the ability to problem solve and impacts their resilience later on in life.
JELLYFISH PARENTS
Over-Lenient Parents
This is a parenting style that is often identified by a lack of rules, structure, and boundaries. Parents who practice a more permissive style are often warm and nurturing, but they tend to avoid setting limits or enforcing consequences for their children's behavior which as a result can become unruly or oppositional.
Hear from happy parents: WHAT PEOPLE SAY ABOUT OLIVER DRAKEFORD THERAPY
"The tools you provided us are working to better help my family during our daily lives and overcome some very difficult situations. GRACIAS ❤"
"Professional, caring, involved, and effective. Our family cannot recommend more!"
"The entire family has learned so much & it's completely changed our perspective on communication and parenting, as a whole."
"Best therapy my daughter and I ever received <3"
ABOUT OLIVER DRAKEFORD, LMFT, CGP
Oliver Drakeford is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist with a decade of experience in providing relationship-oriented therapy for couples, parents, families, and adults. Located in West Hollywood and working with people from all over he has established a reputation for exceptional family therapy and parent coaching.
Trained at the esteemed Maple Counseling Center and certified by the Los Angeles Institute and Association of Psychoanalytic Studies (LAISPS), and The Gottman Method, Oliver brings a wealth of expertise to his practice.
He believes in creating a safe and confidential space for clients to explore their emotions and experiences. Whether through in-person or online therapy sessions, Oliver is committed to helping individuals improve their well-being and foster healthier relationships.
OLIVER DRAKEFORD THERAPy
My office is located in the heart of WeHo, on Santa Monica Blvd, in Los Angeles.
8702 Santa Monica Blvd, West Hollywood CA 90069
I can also offer online sessions if you are located in California.
Frequently Asked Questions About Parent Coaching
What SPECIFICALLY does a parent coach do?
Parent coaches help parents learn effective skills and strategies to improve connection and cooperation in their families. They also offer support and accountability as parents work on integrating these new skills. This process helps parents address and overcome generational trauma, leading to a deeper and more fulfilling family bond.
What exactly IS PARENT COACHING?
Parent Coaching is a collaborative, goal-driven process led by child development and parenting experts. Parent coaches work with parents to help them achieve specific parenting goals or address specific problems and become confident leaders for their families. Parent coaching focuses on addressing present-day parenting issues, skills and needs and typically covers areas such as, boundaries, skills, parenting style education and consequences.
What is the difference between a therapist and a parent coach?
Parent coaching focuses on the parents and helping them become the true experts and leaders in their family, it focuses on providing practical strategies and techniques for managing behavior. Family therapy might contain aspects of this but takes a more comprehensive approach, working to identify and address underlying issues within the family system that are contributing to mental health issues within the family such as anxiety or depression.
What does parent coaching SESSION look like?
Depending on the needs of the parents, this varies. Ideally, a parent coach listens to the specific issues the parents are bringing to the session and asks questions to elaborate and understand things more fully. They will guide the parent through different ways of handling situations, providing skills, and practicing parenting and family issues as they come up.